Post by The Prodigal Daughter on May 31, 2016 13:49:46 GMT -7
As I've said in the board description, I myself have been through an abusive situation. Here is my story.
I started dating this guy named Will on October 19, 2014. I met him through a church group called Mean Streets, where a group of us went down east Colfax in Denver (for those in Colorado, you know the place) and gave out food and prayer to the people living in the motels. I was part of the church group, he lived in one of the motels. He was a great guy, it seemed. He had a criminal history and was clean from meth for over a year. Despite his history, he was very respectful to me and my parents. When I started dating him, however, it changed. If I took longer than two seconds to answer his texts (I’m not exaggerating), he would blow up my phone with messages like “Why aren’t you talking to me?”, “Did I do something wrong?”, “I guess you hate me”, and things like that. And if I was hanging out with a friend (male or female), he would freak out and think I was cheating or lying about where I was. He was obsessive and would get upset or mad about the littlest things. I broke up with him about it, because I was not having it. This lasted for two days before we got back together and he seemed to get his act together. I moved in with him January 2015 (yes, into the motel). There was only one bedroom, which his parents slept in. Will and I slept on the couch. Then meth got involved. He ended up losing his job because of it. We started fighting all the time, and it was only okay when we were high. Mind you, the only drug I had ever done before this was marijuana, and that was rarely. Will started selling as well, so he was never home. Or when he was, there were people constantly in and out of the house at all hours, so I never got any sleep. I ended up dropping out of college, and I was always late to work or leaving work early. He ended up pissing off my parents and they took away my car. I discovered he was cheating on me. During one of our fights, he was texting one of his side chicks and I knocked his phone out of his hand. It remained intact, but he smashed my phone into oblivion. Then whenever my friends or family would try to contact me via his phone, he would quite legitimately tell them to fuck off and not tell me they tried to contact me. He belittled me constantly. He would call me horrible names, constantly accuse me of lying and cheating (even though he was the one that was doing that, not me), and if I wasn’t sure how to do something or didn’t do something to his standards, he would ignore me or scream at me then stomp out of the house for hours. He threatened my life at least once, he hit me and shoved me, and he tried to run over me with a car. He would lie and say I would deprive him of sex, even though I would try to initiate and he would roll away. He would tell people I called the cops on him, when I never have. He would make me late to work because he claimed his dealing was more important, and he left my stranded at work for hours after I got off for the same reason. He basically controlled me and if I even looked at him wrong, he'd scream and lose it.
Now let me tell you this. Before I started dating him and during the first part, I was one of the kindest, most honest people you’ll ever meet. When meth became involved, I never lost my honesty, but I would retaliate and call him names too. I did swing at him a few times. That is not something that I ever do. I never try to belittle people or hit them, but he pushed me far over the edge. So yes, I did do some wrong things. I’ll take the blame. But like I was told from countless people, I wasn’t Shelby. I was some other person, too far tweaked out and in a fight or flight mode.
I left him and am currently living with my parents and siblings. I’ve been clean of drugs since then. I’m stronger than I ever have been. I deal with this via humor or throwing myself into my work. I know now how to stand up for myself in a constructive way and who not to trust. Granted, I still struggle. I have times where I scream and cry because it hurts. That’s alright, though.
If any of you need me AT ALL, please do not be afraid to contact me. I'm here to help.
I started dating this guy named Will on October 19, 2014. I met him through a church group called Mean Streets, where a group of us went down east Colfax in Denver (for those in Colorado, you know the place) and gave out food and prayer to the people living in the motels. I was part of the church group, he lived in one of the motels. He was a great guy, it seemed. He had a criminal history and was clean from meth for over a year. Despite his history, he was very respectful to me and my parents. When I started dating him, however, it changed. If I took longer than two seconds to answer his texts (I’m not exaggerating), he would blow up my phone with messages like “Why aren’t you talking to me?”, “Did I do something wrong?”, “I guess you hate me”, and things like that. And if I was hanging out with a friend (male or female), he would freak out and think I was cheating or lying about where I was. He was obsessive and would get upset or mad about the littlest things. I broke up with him about it, because I was not having it. This lasted for two days before we got back together and he seemed to get his act together. I moved in with him January 2015 (yes, into the motel). There was only one bedroom, which his parents slept in. Will and I slept on the couch. Then meth got involved. He ended up losing his job because of it. We started fighting all the time, and it was only okay when we were high. Mind you, the only drug I had ever done before this was marijuana, and that was rarely. Will started selling as well, so he was never home. Or when he was, there were people constantly in and out of the house at all hours, so I never got any sleep. I ended up dropping out of college, and I was always late to work or leaving work early. He ended up pissing off my parents and they took away my car. I discovered he was cheating on me. During one of our fights, he was texting one of his side chicks and I knocked his phone out of his hand. It remained intact, but he smashed my phone into oblivion. Then whenever my friends or family would try to contact me via his phone, he would quite legitimately tell them to fuck off and not tell me they tried to contact me. He belittled me constantly. He would call me horrible names, constantly accuse me of lying and cheating (even though he was the one that was doing that, not me), and if I wasn’t sure how to do something or didn’t do something to his standards, he would ignore me or scream at me then stomp out of the house for hours. He threatened my life at least once, he hit me and shoved me, and he tried to run over me with a car. He would lie and say I would deprive him of sex, even though I would try to initiate and he would roll away. He would tell people I called the cops on him, when I never have. He would make me late to work because he claimed his dealing was more important, and he left my stranded at work for hours after I got off for the same reason. He basically controlled me and if I even looked at him wrong, he'd scream and lose it.
Now let me tell you this. Before I started dating him and during the first part, I was one of the kindest, most honest people you’ll ever meet. When meth became involved, I never lost my honesty, but I would retaliate and call him names too. I did swing at him a few times. That is not something that I ever do. I never try to belittle people or hit them, but he pushed me far over the edge. So yes, I did do some wrong things. I’ll take the blame. But like I was told from countless people, I wasn’t Shelby. I was some other person, too far tweaked out and in a fight or flight mode.
I left him and am currently living with my parents and siblings. I’ve been clean of drugs since then. I’m stronger than I ever have been. I deal with this via humor or throwing myself into my work. I know now how to stand up for myself in a constructive way and who not to trust. Granted, I still struggle. I have times where I scream and cry because it hurts. That’s alright, though.
If any of you need me AT ALL, please do not be afraid to contact me. I'm here to help.